Yes, I have been absent for a little bit. It was nice to get away but also strange to not have internet at my fingertips at any given moment. It's funny how we begin to rely on those things. But in my time away, I did have lots of time to think about things, to journal, to have time refreshed.

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
                                     Isaiah 43:2

O joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be.
                                George Matheson
                                 "O Love That Will Not Let Me Go"

So do not fear, for I am with you;
  do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
                                Isaiah 41:10

More difficult news came but I didn't wash my car. Dad was moved to a hospice home today. I don't know if he really understood where he's at or fathom what is at hand. Sometimes he has that look....that look that no one is there. And it's gut wretching. It cuts to the soul and breaks my heart. I understand  feeling as small and as insignficant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you.

Storms come in many forms. Some come with no warning. Some we see brewing on the horizon and we know it's only a matter of time before they are upon us. Whenever that storm comes, we know that into our lives will blow heartaches and pain. And although we cannot choose what happens to us; a tornado, hail, sprinkles or just a gentle rain, our choice lies in what we do with what life brings us.

Sharon said today as she handed me a new book to read (Heart in the Right Place), "'Fear not!' is a command given more than 300 times in the Bible. The Lord's telling us not to let ourselves be afraid. We can't afford to be scared. It just gets in the way of us doing whatever it is that we're supposed to be doing." We were reminded of that several times today...helping Dad out of the house he's known for the last 15 years, watching the car slowly make its way down the drive, returning and seeing an empty chair in the house, looking at the old, grungy ball caps hanging in the garage and contemplating what life just might be like in a few months knowing that with every turn is a reminder of what we will be missing.

One of the things I did during my journaling time was to work on Dad's obituary. I told someone I did that and their first reaction was, "Really? Wow! That must have been difficult." Honestly, it was very healing for me. It was a step. So, here it is:

Paul Peacock, 66 of Brooklyn passed away under the loving care of his beautiful wife, Sharon and his family. Born November 4, 1943, Paul was a quiet man with a sense of humor who made people laugh despite his often reserved nature. Paul was a person who always put others ahead of himself. He was a platelet donor at the ARC and had donated almost 50 gallons prior to his cancer diagnosis.
A man of great courage and strength, he strived to teach his daughters important lessons in life and always had wise words and advice. He once wrote on the corner of a paper to his eldest daughter, "Always plan ahead."
On March 22, 1986 Paul married his soul mate and friend, Sharon Mary. They were so good for each other. Many rich memories were made over their 24 years of marriage. They made each other laugh and love life. They enjoyed ballroom dancing, square dancing, golf and many, fun activities together.
Paul served at the Brooklyn Presbyterian Church for more than 36 years as deacon and on various boards and committees. Everyone who met Paul fell in love with his gentle nature and loving presence.
Paul worked at Consumers Energy in Jackson for over 30 years when he retired in 2002 as a Senior Rate Analyst. He loved his job and made many lifetime friendship including Carl Gilzow, Bill Milligan, Jerry, Jack and many others!
He loved sailing, golf, NASCAR and fishing! Family was of utmost importance. Paul, an avid race car fan, taped every race since the early 80's. He watched every week and enjoyed several races with his oldest daughter. Another sport he loved was Red Wings Hockey, which he enjoyed with his youngest daughter!
Paul was preceded in death by his brother, John, in 1972. Surviving are his wife, Sharon; his parents, Maynard and Bertha of Alma, MI, his brother Dan (Kathy) of Kalamazoo, his sister Elizabeth (Grant) Tucker of Houston, TX, his daugthers Cammie (Dave) Krueger of Haslett, Dana Everett of Jackson, stepdaughter, Sheryl McKeown of California and stepson, Chuck (Kim) McKeown of Jackson, his 8 grandchildren, Alexis, Emma and Matt Krueger, Trent Futrell, Logan and Caleb Everett, and Duncan and Devin McKeown; numerous nieces and nephews.
A very special thank you to Allegiance Hospice for their special care.

A prayer from Riches Stored in Secret Places....

Lord, the storms come and we cry out in our agony that life is unfair. We doubt your love and question your goodness. And the pain often blinds us to the rainbows of your presence. The fear that life will never be good again keeps us clinging to the shreds of what we had instead of allowing you to build a new and deeper life out of our brokenness. Help us, Father to remember in these dark days the things we know to be true about you, the things that seem so easy to believe when life feels good. Help us to cling tenaciously to the promises that your love is unfailing, your strength is made known in our weakness, and you will never leave us or forsake us. Give us the grace to offer up to you our tear-stained praises for being our anchor in the storm.
Amen.