Pondering Quotes

I found this quote and have been pondering it ever since!

God is not always silent, and man is not always blind. In every man's life there are moments when there is a lifting of the veil at the horizon of the known, opening a sight of the eternal.... But such experiences are rare events. To some people they are like shooting stars, passing and unremembered. In others they kindle a light that is never quenched.

It just struck me today after experiences this week and I wanted to share. Not sure why but there it is and do with it as you like. Perhaps it will cause you to pause and open your eyes to see glimpses of heaven!

P.S. I took this picture at my dad's house at sunset. It does make me think of the quote above..."a lifting of the veil at the horizon of the known, opening a sight of the eternal"...hmmm

a Picture is Worth a 1000 Words!

Today was a beautiful day! And I mean that in all respects! What started out as a cloudy overcast day turned into a sunny evening and tied with a beautiful sunset on top! We prayed and many prayed for no rain and God showed His faithfulness! Family pictures took place at my dad's lake house! My sister was there with her family! Dad and Sharon both cried some but smiles seemed to ease the thoughts in the back of each of our minds! To top it off the photogragher was amazing! I love her! She captured each moment, each relationship and I can't wait to see the results!!! Today is definitely a day I will always cherish!

A Dream

I had a dream the other night. After I woke up I was really shaken because it was so incredibly real. In my dream, Sharon called me and told me my dad had passed. I kept repeating, "I never got to say goodbye. I never got to say goodbye." She told me to not worry about it. She said because of the circumstances, even though he just passed that morning, they were having the funeral at that afternoon. I was so upset because no one would know and no one would come. And I continued repeating, "I never got to say goodbye." Then I was at their house but there was a dining room in the bedroom. I was so upset and I sat at the table. Then my dad was at the table. Oh how the tears came and I told him how much I missed him. He reassured me that everything was going to be alright and that he would be watching over me.
The dream was incredible. It was so real.

Dad had a rough day. He slept for quite a while this morning. My brother in law told him he'd take him sailing because it would give him something to look forward to that day. Chad went with my two nephews, Trent 16 and Caleb 10. Everything seemed like it was going to be smooth sailing until they got out from the bay. Dad started slumping and felt like he couldn't sit up. Trent moved next to papa and helped him sit. He seemed fine. After they got back to shore, Dad couldn't get out of the boat. Chad and Trent helped carry him out and set him in a chair on the shore. Chad thought perhaps he was dehydrated and they got him some water. He seemed to be doing better but they carried him in the chair back to the house.
I see each day failing a little more and a little more. It's so hard to watch. We are traveling to Jackson to have family pictures taken on Sunday. I'm looking forward to the evening and I pray it will all go smoothly.
I visited the grandparents again today. I love going to visit. The hard part about today was breaking the news to my 93 and 92 year old grandparents that their beloved son only has months to live. Grandma doesn't always seem to understand but she repeated several times, "How is he doing?" "You mean, they can't do anything else?"
Tough days are ahead but I know in the end without a shadow of doubt that my dad will be watching over me. And not only my earthly father but my Heavenly Father has us in the palm of his hand; he sees the tears and he cries too.

Father's Day

It was perhaps the last Father's Day I'll spend with my dad. I tried to put that at the back of my mind as family (My Dad & Sharon, My sister and two of her boys) came for dinner. But it was like a shadow looming around the corner, the big elephant in the room. We ate dinner and spent the day flipping between the US Open Golf Tournament at Pebble Beach and the Nascar Race. Sometimes it just a delight to sit together and not do too much.

I don't think you can get away from the fact that the "terminal-ness" of the situation though and it loomed around each corner. Do we bring it up? Do we really want to talk about it? Yes, we finally did and I think it's good. I don't know that Dad is physically up for a clinical trial. I think it would put him through too much and quality of life is a little more important than quantity of life. We came to the conclusion that Dad does want to continue to fight this awful thing. (It always amazes me)! He, we believe, will feel better about things if he knows he's at least trying to fight. So we are probably going to go back to the Temadore that he was on initially in 2007 just to try it again. He had little to no side effects from the chemo drug and it's worth a try. If it doesn't do anything, it doesn't do anything. If it works a little, that's good. I'm trying to get a new perspective and handle on all this. It's so hard to face the fact that was the last Father's Day with him.

And as they pulled out of the driveway, a small little tear slipped down my face knowing perhaps it was even the last time he'd be at my house, sit in my chair, eat at my table and enjoy the day here. But with the sun setting and God's glorious painting performing, I knew It was going to be alright!

I Did It!

I wasn't really sure I wanted to start a blog page but here it goes! I have a few favorite pages and they've inspired me to start. I'm not much of a wordsmith; I'm not creative (at least in my opinion) and I'm not sure what I'm going to say.



So let's start with a little of who I am. I've thought lots about this.

I grew up in a small town (my high school class had 119 students). I lived with my mom, dad and my sister. My mom was the disciplinarian, my dad the quiet one. My sister is two years younger. When I was 15 my parents divorced. My mom always told us that she just couldn't live that way anymore. I believe there was definitely a lack of communication. I look back now and realize that my parents in that sense (communication) they were role models to me in a not so positive way. If they didn't communicate well, where would I learn to communicate well. I admit it now. I am terrible at communication. I would rather avoid and perhaps pretend that it will just go away on it's own. I know that's not the case but communication is hard. It's something that you have to work at. People are not mind readers. Well, as it goes... my dad remarried when I was 16, not even a year after the divorce was final. I, like any other teen, learned that I could use that to my advantage and I learned quickly that I could do what I wanted with my dad and well, quite the opposite at my mom's house. I lived with my mom until I turned 18 and then I moved in with dad. At that time I began drinking and partying with friends. I did the typical teenage rebellion activities through college, mostly drinking.

I have to tell you where I was spiritually. Throughout my elementary and high school years I attended church faithfully. I participated in the youth group activities not only at my church but also at the churches of friends. I believed in God but I had never heard that if I was the only person on earth, Christ would have died just for me. I never heard of salvation. No one ever shared that gospel with me. I remember in high school attending the Christmas Eve service by myself. In college I never found a church away from home. I did try a few but never anything consistent. I recall several times throughout college when I would be walking home from work late at night by myself and I would find myself singing hymns I learned as a child.

When I met my husband I knew almost from the moment we met that he was the one. The spiritual side of him is what drew me to him. He was the first to explain Christ's love and forgiveness to me. Three months after we were married I accepted Christ as my personal Savior! While I have gone through many ups and downs I have always tried to rely on Him for strength and comfort. We have three kids ages 16, 13 and almost 10!


So...who am I? Well first and foremost I'm a Christian. I am a mother and wife. I am a secretary, a co-worker, a helper, a driver, an encourager, a teacher, a friend, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister a lover, and a passionate person. My family defines me. I am passionate about women's ministries and encouraging people in their walk with Christ. I love to sit at a pool or on the beach and read. I enjoy crossword puzzles, working out, and spending time with friends and family. I love music but I cannot sing. I just love to listen! My kids are all involved in sports and I love watching them learn and grow and do well. I love photography and would love to take a class. I am sometimes organized. I am a pile organizer. I know where to find something and which pile it is in! I like to be outdoors but not at night! I like to bird watch. I went snorkeling for the first time this last year and I loved it. I was a little afraid but quickly overcame my fears after seeing all the beauty hidden below in the depths!


I don't like change but who does? Instead of learning through change, I avoid it! I am an avoider in boundaries. I put up walls and it keeps people out but doesn't let anything out either. I recognize this but don't know how to get around it. It's something hard that I need to learn. I am terrible at communication. I rarely share my intimate feelings. I have low self-esteem and often that comes in conflict with sharing feelings and thoughts. I have had them invalidated and hurt so many times.

In May, 2004, my mother passed away in a very tragic car accident. I was the first one to my mom after the accident and seeing her in that state will never be erased from my memory. My mom and I were close. Although we had had our differences when I was much younger, we had worked through many of those issues. Her death was a very, very tough blow. Just prior to her passing, I had never felt closer to God. When the accident happened I felt like I had sank into this deep pit. It has taken my several years to learn to make one step on each rung of the ladder out of that pit. I know that God has been with me every step of the way. I have to cling to that fact. It gives me hope and comfort. It hasn't stopped me from asking, "why?". Time has helped me work through grief.

My dad is currently battling brain cancer. He has a glioblastoma multiforme stage 4! He has multiple tumors. The outlook doesn't look too good right now. But we remain strong and know that God has His hand upon this whole circumstance. My dad and I love to go to the Nascar races together. This is a picture of the two of us at a race!