Father's Day

It was perhaps the last Father's Day I'll spend with my dad. I tried to put that at the back of my mind as family (My Dad & Sharon, My sister and two of her boys) came for dinner. But it was like a shadow looming around the corner, the big elephant in the room. We ate dinner and spent the day flipping between the US Open Golf Tournament at Pebble Beach and the Nascar Race. Sometimes it just a delight to sit together and not do too much.

I don't think you can get away from the fact that the "terminal-ness" of the situation though and it loomed around each corner. Do we bring it up? Do we really want to talk about it? Yes, we finally did and I think it's good. I don't know that Dad is physically up for a clinical trial. I think it would put him through too much and quality of life is a little more important than quantity of life. We came to the conclusion that Dad does want to continue to fight this awful thing. (It always amazes me)! He, we believe, will feel better about things if he knows he's at least trying to fight. So we are probably going to go back to the Temadore that he was on initially in 2007 just to try it again. He had little to no side effects from the chemo drug and it's worth a try. If it doesn't do anything, it doesn't do anything. If it works a little, that's good. I'm trying to get a new perspective and handle on all this. It's so hard to face the fact that was the last Father's Day with him.

And as they pulled out of the driveway, a small little tear slipped down my face knowing perhaps it was even the last time he'd be at my house, sit in my chair, eat at my table and enjoy the day here. But with the sun setting and God's glorious painting performing, I knew It was going to be alright!